I saw a draft post just now. Words she wrote about me years ago. I did not read the words. I did not need to. I remember them. Part of it has to do with being all things to all people. That’s love right? Being all things to all people…
How else can you serve them unless you are what they need?
I’ll begin here with saying I have not fallen so do not fret. I am trying to fall but I doubt I will be able to succeed. I created a few scenarios of life. I reminded myself, as best I could, that it matters not. Scenario one was quickly dashed. Scenario two equally dashed. I may have just deleted the second one. I do not recall if it was the second or the third.
I wrote the above two days ago. I am still trying to fall. Still failing. *sigh* Grace.
I wanted to read more this weekend. I wanted to accomplish more. I accomplished little. I did finish a book but I was mostly done with it when the weekend started so it doesn’t really count. I needed to think upon things. I needed to pray for a miracle. I prayed quite a bit. I cannot accomplish the task set before me without God which has made me quite desperate. But not desperate enough. :/
I think about time and the future requirements. So much seems like it needs to be happening soon and yet what? Me. Excuse.
Yes, I tell myself I need the weekend to recharge. My mind does not always accept this idea. Hmmm, does it ever. I suppose. I cannot hide from even my own intensity. I scare myself. I pray. The mind wanders. Back on track. Off track again. Align this. Align that.
The eyes. I wonder if they are really that color.