Finding words. *sigh*
Yesterday was a day. It was topped off with a great date with my daughter. We went to La Suprema where she talked to me for well over an hour. (She talked for over 2 hours Wednesday night – I just love listening to her.) Our next stop was Market Basket. This may not sound exciting just yet but the Blue Bell Cookie Dough ice cream was recently released and this is Kristen’s favorite. Watching her when we got home was just one of those moments. Then we rented “Sherlock, The Abominable Bride”. I attempted to stay awake but failed. However, when it was over I got to see her excitement regarding the larger implications in this show that she enjoys so much.
I am blessed beyond understanding with her.
This morning however the pain rose up and is trying to crush me. I think it started while I was praying Psalm 72. I have done some work. Wrote a note. Read some. Listened to music. Nothing distracts for long. I want to write things I should not write to people I should not write them to. Soul intimacy.
One of the verses from yesterday was Ephesians 6:6, the part that says: “but as slaves of Christ doing the will of God from the heart”. Another verse or two that I have been in the last few days, Philippians 3:10-11. “My aim is to know him, to experience the power of his resurrection, to share in his sufferings, and to be like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”
My aim is to know him. There are words that would help explain the value of these in my life the past few days but I cannot find them. I keep deleting the words since they are all wrong.
The verses I did not want but still came to me over the past few days. Ephesians 2:4 and Ephesians 5:26.
The first one begins with “But God”. The next one includes “with the washing of the water by the word”. Words evoke memories. All the memories.
I am not even going to try to put words together for those verses. Holding back tears.
One of my girls turns 9 tomorrow. Birthday party this afternoon. She wanted a crawfish boil. I can’t wait to see her.
Time to look at lists. Add to. Subtract from. Write more words to people. Here we go…