What Is Real?

It is difficult for me to know what feelings are real sometimes.  I try to calmly think about them as they come but so often I am holding on for dear life that calm cannot be had.  I found that when that happens my mind is not responsive to rational thought.  It is not even responsive to requests for control.

How can I look at those things and determine if they belong to me?  Or if they are even real.

I ask how can I implement a solution.  I do not know.  I have devoted a significant amount of time to implementation and since I do not think I will do this then I must find another solution.  The other solution that comes to mind is a slow death for me.  I do not care for the slow death method.  Is the solution even real?  What is real?

Yes, well short is all I have right now.