The Want of Intimacy

I read a very good article on loneliness recently.  In it they defined loneliness as the want of intimacy.  I thought it was a great definition.

The article was both good and bad for me.  I would much prefer just to be depressed sometimes but it always seems to stem from the want of intimacy.  I have to guard myself with great pains to avoid trouble.  This leads to greater loneliness and depression.  The physical pain is intense.

Is there a solution to this problem?  There never seems to be.

The want of intimacy.  To share my life with someone.  What joy.  What joy.

So I purchased a book titled “The Path of Loneliness” by Elisabeth Elliot.  It has a lot of good in it.  It is difficult for me to receive any of it.  I almost highlighted text early on but refrained.  Then this morning I had to underline some text from the book.  [It isn’t available on Kindle so I had to get a paper book.]

It is possible both to accept and to endure loneliness without bitterness when there is a vision of glory beyond.

My question was “How?”.  When there is a vision of glory beyond.  How do I get there?  How do I see that?

There is no false intimacy that can fill the void.  And I do not know how to fill it with the love of God.  And I do not want to claim loneliness is a gift.  And even though it is a gift, I do not want to be thankful for it.  I do not even know how to be thankful.

If I say I am unlovable, people want to fight to the death to prove this statement false.  They define love broadly not really understanding (or wanting to understand) the truth of my statement.  The want of intimacy is not the same love you want to tell me I have.  

And this loneliness is a gift.  Being unlovable is a gift.  Thank you Lord for the gifts.  Help me to see the glory beyond.