I found this unpublished post from May. I remember that time. I wanted to experience the “people have no value” yesterday. I pretend in my mind that feeling that way would have been “good” for me. Ahhh, it was close. Very close…
I have been watching Doctor Who lately. The kids were all about it and so I finally decided to watch them.
It is a very sad show.
I remember the first book I liked. The one that made me a reader, an avid reader. To Kill a Mockingbird. I determined the reason for liking the book later. Atticus Fitch was someone I understood. I probably mentioned this previously but who knows since I do not always publish what I write.
It seems the Doctor is someone I understand as well. Every day feels like eternity. And it is an eternity of loneliness. Time just creeps by – it seems to be slower each day. Moment after moment. The time is filled up with “things” and none of them have much value at all. Lately it has even felt as if people have no value. I hold on to what I can but three weeks of this feeling may be worse than depression. Do I care at all?
Someone told me I did care yesterday. I told them how it was but they do not know my heart and thus they did not believe me. Most people would not believe me.
So I loathed life because what happens on earth seems awful to me; for all the benefits of wisdom are futile—like chasing the wind. –Ecclesiastes 2:17
You should see the “look” with each new adventure the Doctor has. Oh let us fill the days with adventures so that we forget the eternity of loneliness we must endure.
I seem to be drawn to Ecclesiastes in times like these. It seems I need to be reaffirmed in my understanding of the world. How futile it all is.