The Bigger The Bow

The bigger the bow, the better the mom. I heard that recently from a soon-to-be mother. It was not said in jest. We can laugh about that but we know this idea is true. If you have the biggest flag, then you are certainly more patriotic than those with smaller flags. If your church has a digital sign, then you most certainly attend a church that is the closest thing to heaven on earth. The bigger the digital sign the closer you are to heaven! If your high school football stadium is not of professional football caliber, then you might as well kill yourself because you are such a loser. If the cross in your yard does not have a crucified Jesus on it, you may not even be a Christian. And seriously men, grow a real beard like the duck dynasty men otherwise you just look pathetic.