Many days it seems as if I will never escape the pain. I think I find the sin preventing my communion with God, only to be consumed by loneliness again. I think I lay the feelings before my Lord, only to experience it again. And again. And again. I thought it would be good to write about the experiences as I go through them but then I think that no one would really care. I just want to break free. The question that starts with “What if I never take this pain away?” is right there in front of me. How long can I carry this around? As long as Christ gives me the strength, I will carry this.
This is quite complicated in my mind. I can rationalize all this and still this feeling persists. Is it a specific sin? If it is Lord show me, deliver me.