Temporary Reprieve

Many days it seems as if I will never escape the pain.  I think I find the sin preventing my communion with God, only to be consumed by loneliness again.  I think I lay the feelings before my Lord, only to experience it again.  And again.  And again.  I thought it would be good to write about the experiences as I go through them but then I think that no one would really care.  I just want to break free.  The question that starts with “What if I never take this pain away?” is right there in front of me.  How long can I carry this around?  As long as Christ gives me the strength, I will carry this.

This is quite complicated in my mind.  I can rationalize all this and still this feeling persists.  Is it a specific sin?  If it is Lord show me, deliver me.