Well I know you have been anxiously awaiting this year’s Relay harassment. I have been wondering what the best way would be to trick you out of your money, I mean trick you into donating it to the American Cancer Society. This year instead of joining up with Kara, we have created our own Relay team – Jux The Nerds. At first it was just the people at the office, then I stole one of my kids away from Kara and then stole the next one. They actually wanted to move to the nerd team because they are nerds like their papa. Now we need your help to defeat, umm, raise more than Kara and her team. I’m not saying that we are better than she is but we are so much nerdier than her and her team. There really is no competition.
Now as you know, nerds have social inadequacies so we really need you to think about helping us with a donation of any size. Kara has thousands of friends while we have tens of friends so the larger the donation the better! As it stands Blaine has raised $200, Kristen has raised $192, I have raised $159, and Kara has raised $158. No, I did not make a donation just in time to put me one dollar above her. OK never mind I did do that. You do not have to donate to me specifically both kids want to crush, ummm, raise more money than their mother. This will give them bragging rights for years to come. Well at least until next year’s Relay comes around. So as you are contemplating that donation please remember that the money you donate goes to both patient services right here in Southeast Texas and research that benefits all cancer patients everywhere.
Please rest assured that we will work tirelessly to separate you from the money you work so hard for. It is really not that much work because we are nerds and can automate most of the notifications we send out. Blaine is working on creating alarms on your cell phones that continually go off until you make that donation and Kristen, well, her plans are a bit more devious so just trust me when I say don’t mess with her nerd powers. There may be some of you who cannot afford a financial donation and we fully understand this. But if you cannot make a financial donation we expect you to visit us Relay night which is Friday, April 24th at Nederland Bulldog Stadium. You have plenty of advance notification so block off your calendar now.
Click here to donate today! OK you can click there anytime to donate.