I am dirt.
Genesis 2:7 – The LORD God formed the man from the soil of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
As I was dealing with isolation and loneliness, I came across an article on the topic which lead me to a sermon series. I listened to the first one in the series and he talked about how loneliness is a spiritual issue. I want to make sure the words I put here are factually correct but the timing of things in my head is not accurate so I will do the best I can. Sin was keeping me from the relationship and communion I was used to with my heavenly Father. This pain is intense. When I found what I believe to be the sin, I immediately repented of it. I asked God to help me avoid this sin in the future. It seems pretty clear to me that this area of my life needs to be cleaned up and I am not equipped to do this on my own.
Sin – modifying a specific event in your life depending on the person you are talking to so that you are placed in the light you want to be in. Leviticus 19:11 – “You must not steal, you must not tell lies, and you must not deal falsely with your fellow citizen.” You must not tell lies. I did not even realize that I was doing this. It was so natural that I believed the lie myself. The fact that I can believe the lie is quite frightening. How can I be convinced my own lie is true? In the deepest part of my mind, where no one but God will ever penetrate, I believed these things to be true. When God showed this to me all I could think was Romans 7:24-25 – “Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”
Then I will bring the remaining third into the fire;
I will refine them like silver is refined
and will test them like gold is tested.
They will call on my name and I will answer;
I will say, ‘These are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The LORD is my God.’
Thanks be to God! His grace brings me to my knees. This time I was prostrate before Him…