One Spoon, One Fork, One Knife

I told the kids a few months back that once they left I would only need one spoon, one fork, and one knife.  Kristen said it was sad to think that way.  Sad but true.  She agreed.  

I imagine you have never imagined loneliness this way.  

Or maybe you have.  I decided to wash the dishes I use by hand when the kids are not here.  There is currently one coffee cup, one bowl, and one spoon.  There may be a plate in the future but not today.

Soon I think I will lose what little I had left.  God has a way about Him that I cannot understand.  I could probably go without the fork if I had to.  But what if I do not want to.  You say it does not matter.  If God doesn’t want me to have a fork then I will not have one.  I thought He might as well take the spoon and knife too.

There really is no need for any of it I suppose.  No reason at all.  I should be thankful that I have a fork at all, I suppose.  Yet, the mind does not go this way.  What does that even mean?

I got back from Africa.  I took some steps.  I tried to open the Bible.  It was difficult.  I guess that is the right word.  I do not believe His promise and yet I know He is faithful.  How can the mind work this way?

I just want to go home Lord.  Please take me home.