On a “good” day I don’t ask for God to take away the pain, I ask for Him to be with me through it. I was reading an article last night, maybe just skimming it, and I quite enjoyed it. The article was titled “Too Depressed to Believe What We Know“. They were really listing resources for people who fight depression. On the listing of the third resource there was a line “God is there with you in the depression” and I can attest to that truth.
I think I have shared before how I was just pleading with God to take the pain away one night and realized I was asking for the wrong thing. I stopped in the middle of the pleading and changed to pleading for Him to be with me through it. It really was an eye opening night oh so many months ago.
I woke up this morning and prayed for some people. I got up and read my Bible. Everything seemed to be better. Then I could sense it and the wave of pain hit me. It hits really fast sometimes. My first thought this time was “God is with me through it”. It took me a long time to get there. And I know I will not always be successful in that being my first thought but I find it reassuring to have made some progress.
Sometimes I think that the sadness makes me more reliant on God as I plead with Him to get me through the day. Constantly looking to Him for help.
A strange thing to me is how even now as the pain and sadness try to overwhelm me I can hold it together because of Christ. Christ sustains me. I would just collapse under the weight of it all if I were on my own. I have more to write about a different topic now so I will compose those ideas.