There was an interesting article about depression. I have read a few from people where I can tell they know the same pain. This article was 18 responses to things people tell you. One of the responses was basically “It is not a choice.” Many people believe it is.
I had someone tell me they wish they understood depression. I had another joke with me about my life being so bad that of course I should be depressed. The comments one receives when you share your problems range widely.
I told the first one that they do not really want to understand these things. No one would want to experience this. I did not tell the second one anything. Most of what people say I already know.
Yesterday a friend told me devastating news. It keeps getting worse for this person. I fear they will have to lose everything. I have watched the things in their life fall away, helpless to do anything but pray. Sometimes there is nothing left but prayer.
I try not to feel the pain with them but it is in my soul to know their pain. It is in my soul to know all your pain.
I had someone tell me that anything that holds me back was not from God. I think they were referring to the depression, given that was our topic of conversation. I did not want to argue but who else would it come from? God gave this to me and God gave me the strength to survive. Every single day. I imagine many do not want to hear this.
It is in those times that I am desperately dependent on Him and Him alone that I know, I control nothing.