Not A Choice

There was an interesting article about depression.  I have read a few from people where I can tell they know the same pain.  This article was 18 responses to things people tell you.  One of the responses was basically “It is not a choice.”  Many people believe it is.

I had someone tell me they wish they understood depression.  I had another joke with me about my life being so bad that of course I should be depressed.  The comments one receives when you share your problems range widely.

I told the first one that they do not really want to understand these things.  No one would want to experience this.  I did not tell the second one anything.  Most of what people say I already know.

Yesterday a friend told me devastating news.  It keeps getting worse for this person.  I fear they will have to lose everything.  I have watched the things in their life fall away, helpless to do anything but pray.  Sometimes there is nothing left but prayer.

I try not to feel the pain with them but it is in my soul to know their pain.  It is in my soul to know all your pain.

I had someone tell me that anything that holds me back was not from God.  I think they were referring to the depression, given that was our topic of conversation.  I did not want to argue but who else would it come from?  God gave this to me and God gave me the strength to survive.  Every single day.  I imagine many do not want to hear this.

It is in those times that I am desperately dependent on Him and Him alone that I know, I control nothing.