My Heart Is Crushed

I really love words.  I probably repeat myself but I do.  Such feeling inside each one.

My ability to use words has been diminished lately.  Depression effects the health of the body and mind.

One of the words God has given me many times over the past six weeks is “crushed”.  I find it to be a powerful word.  This morning in Jeremiah 8:21.

My heart is crushed because my dear people are being crushed.  I go about crying and grieving.  I am overwhelmed with dismay.  –Jeremiah 8:21

Ezekiel 6:9 from a few weeks ago also uses that word.  And I believe the word is used in Proverbs but if I am mistaken, I will refer to my diminished abilities above.  I’m reading that book again right now so if I see it I’ll try to reference it.

Yesterday was rough.  I drove to Woodville.  Listened to Romans 1-8 and then talked to God.  I talked to Him most of the way back too.  I found out someone’s aunt had died.  I found out Bethany was diagnosed (officially) with I think about six things – most of which we knew about (hypertension, depression, low iron, etc., etc.).  I nearly passed out a few times while at my daughter’s choir concert.  And earlier in the day too.  If I blamed it on Bethany, would you understand how I am connected to people?  How I feel their pain?

I did get the blue-green journal for Aubree in so I took it to her.  It was good to see my girls two days in a row.  I’m getting them this weekend and I have my kids too so it will be fun.  I think Blaine and Kristen will love helping them find games for their tablets.  No parent teacher conference yet but that is coming.

The guy at Subway commented about the peace that was around me.  “You’re so calm.  I need to be like that.”  Hmmm, I wonder why that memory just occurred to me.  I think he was a high school kid.  He was very personable.

The conversation with God on the way to Woodville was interesting.  As I reflect on it again, I wonder where He is taking me.  The conversation about church in Woodville was interesting.  The conversation later in the afternoon about what we are willing to give up for the goal (the salvation of others for the glory of God) was also interesting.  And I didn’t use the word interesting enough in this paragraph so I wanted to throw it in there one more time for good measure.

I suppose I should start my day.  Yesterday it started with the sound of the alarm.  Today, no such luck but I think I slept a bit.