My Fan Girl

​Last week I had an evening with my daughter. We watched some silly Dr. Who Christmas special (my fan girl). Now I should be clear that I have only ever watched three episodes of Dr. Who and all three were watched just to spend time with Kristen.  I did not make her a fan girl of Dr. Who.  Afterwards we just talked about whatever was on our minds.  I prefer her do most of the talking.  Near the end I talked about the end scene of Schindler’s List and had to pull it up on YouTube. If you are not familiar with the movie, Schindler worked in Nazi Germany and saved a lot of Jews from certain death. At the end Schindler talks about how he could have saved ten more people with his car and two more with his gold pin. I cry every time.  I had to apologize to Kristen – I had not intended for us to cry.  I much prefer to be happy with her.  Of course she understands her papa so it was fine.

Watching that clip is never good for me.  I always tend to think the same thing.  Could I do more?  At the end of my life will I be saying the same thing?  I shouldn’t have wasted this or that (mostly time and money) so I could be used by God to save one more person from hell.  Dear Lord, may I not have this regret.  Dear Lord, use me, directly or indirectly, to save many from an eternity in hell.  Unfortunately I know my own life and my own daily failure so I already have this regret.  But I also know that each day God allows me to get up and continue to serve so I must keep moving forward.  What a glorious God we serve.

The 41st resolution of Jonathan Edwards is: Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better. Could we change it slightly to say: Wherein I could have possibly allowed myself to be used by God to save one more person.