Going Is Difficult

Why is going to church difficult?  This question has been on my white board for at least a week, maybe two.  Today many more questions and statements were added to the board.

One thing I believe I have stated in the past is the church feels fake.  Today I wrote “Church is a program”.  And we know that Jesus went around setting up programs so that people would not have to interact with other people.  No, wait, Jesus went around dealing with people directly without programs.  Interesting.

I remember quite vividly a Sunday at my previous church and the fight within me to take the next step towards the building.  Every step.  Every step up the stairs was also a fight.  I cannot tell you how many Sundays over the past four or five years I have forced myself to go.

Another thing I wrote today – The whole system is set up to destroy the very thing it is supposed to magnify.

Yes, I have so many more words on this topic but my mind is too disorganized.  I need to think about nothing so that the patterns can form and be combined.  Maybe I can write more tomorrow.