Drastic Change

God has a way of changing your life drastically in a few hours.

On December 19th a mother I know had to take a drug test for CPS.  Because she did not take the test it was an automatic fail and so they asked her to give up her kids until it could be resolved.  The meeting with CPS was at my office.  The mother was going to separate her girls but CPS wanted them to stay together so I offered to keep them.  After a few minutes, I realized that her father should be informed and given the first opportunity to keep them.  She called and got angry with her father and that really left me as (maybe?) the only one who could manage them both.

That night I left work, went and picked up my children, and then picked up my new children.  I told my children the story as it had unfolded so far on our way to get the girls.  We were pretty quiet.  I was in shock so I’m sure they were too.  The first night was rough but we made it.  The next night we setup the air mattresses and tried to get a routine.  It was Christmas break so that wasn’t easy.

The week after Christmas the owner from my girls daycare gave us some bunk beds.  She was looking for mattresses but had not found any yet.  On January 1st we purchased some mattresses, got the beds setup in Kristen’s room, Kristen’s bed moved to Blaine’s room, and got everyone’s stuff arranged.  This gave us a few days with everyone having beds before school started.

School started and a good routine began.  We have had three bad nights.  The first night which I already mentioned.  I do not recall the timing on the second one but the third was a night the mother was having dinner with us.  She kept going on and on about CPS never giving her children back and how the world was out to get her.  The girls (ages 6 and 7) ate this information up and that night felt like they would never see mom again.  They cried and cried.  I was quite upset with the mother but we all survived.

The days are mixed.  We can make the “good to bad” circle a lot in a single day or even in a few minutes.  One moment good and the next bad.  Overall I have grown to love my girls more each day.

After they first moved in, I remember telling the oldest to go take a shower.  She got mad and stormed away to take a shower (it was sister’s turn to go first).  I called her back and told her that was not how we handled situations like that in our house.  I told her she needed to calmly tell me it was her sister’s turn to go first.  The look on her face was a confused “are you kidding me” look.  I told her that we were erasing the previous few minutes and to get on the floor and play so we could try again.  When I told her to go take a shower, she peaked over her shoulder still not sure but told me anyway that it was sister’s turn to go first.  I then looked at the younger one and told her and she jumped right down to take a shower.

The first few trips to the grocery store were chaos.  I remember my own children being the same way.  They were into everything.  I’m glad I remembered my kids being that way.  But this past Saturday at the store, the oldest was so well behaved.  I was so proud of her.  All I could do was praise her.  The younger one wasn’t bad but she still has some learning to do.

Goodness, so many stories of my girls in the past month that I’m not sure I could remember them all.  Oh, I have to share at least one more – the oldest is in 2nd grade and so she has been reading the story of Moses to us on some nights.  She tries so hard with some of the Bible names.  We get to laugh and enjoy God’s Word in a new way with her reading to us.

Personally, I had a few days in a row where I was extremely selfish and just wanted time alone to read a book or write.  I never got that time because parents have to sacrifice for their children.  I felt sorry for myself and many other things but God used Romans 6:22 to bring me back in line.  I have been used to having alone time when my kids were with their mom but I no longer had it.  I did not even really have time to adjust to or think about all the changes this would mean.  We have taken it one day at a time.

My bio children seem to be handling it well.  Kristen is a girl so it is easier for her.  Blaine isn’t used to having younger sisters so there are times when he gets frustrated.  I know they have both been extremely generous.  I have been so proud of them.  No they have not been perfect but it is all new and I have had to correct them.

This morning I got up and was fine but after fixing breakfast I got dizzy and nauseous.  I asked grandfather and grandmother to take them to church.  I rested on the couch and got some soup in me and then a corn dog.  I’m still dizzy if I get up too fast but not nauseous any more.  I’m actually missed my girls for the past hour but they are having fun with grandfather and grandmother.  It seems God graced me with a little rest on the Sabbath.

We should have a meeting with CPS soon to see if the girls can go back to their mom’s or what will happen next.  Prayers for my girls appreciated – prayers for safety and security in their lives.