I wrote two posts yesterday. Both were small and I did not publish them. Truthfully they were incomplete.
This morning I finished reading Hebrews. I read the first eight chapters last night and the other five this morning. Lately when reading out loud, my mind mixes the words so I had to stop. I notice mistakes everywhere as I am writing. I notice them in my thought patterns. It is quite frustrating.
What causes people to wake up at an exact time? For example, two of the last three days when I open my eyes the clock says 3:08am. I know this happens to many people (different times of course). I wonder if there is a study on why this occurs.
As I got to Hebrews twelve, I remembered the first four verses with great delight. “We must get rid of every weight” and “run with endurance” and “keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus”. Really good verses for me this morning.
My first meeting yesterday was 5:30am. After that, I got the kids ready for school. Then my second meeting at 8am. I thought they were productive but only God knows what He is doing in those people’s hearts. I crashed late afternoon. It had been looming most of the day but it hit hard. I had trouble holding it in around people.
I read an interesting chapter in a book on how God likes good wine. Good wine comes from vines that are stressed. They are forced to produce fewer grapes that are more flavorful. God can do the same with us and our faith.
God gave me a idea many years ago. I began moving forward on it slowly last year and then this bout of depression hit. Everything stopped. This week I took many steps, moving this project forward again. I have felt accomplished when not in despair. I got the EIN, filed 1023 EZ, and opened the bank account. Three tasks in four days. Great success. I need to determine the steps to take this weekend and next week. I have my mind map but I do not recall if any of the steps are small like this.
Social engagements today. God is testing me. “Will you rely on me today? Will you trust me?” As much as my sinful flesh can.
It is a little after 5 now. I suppose I can eat breakfast and go to work before my first engagement at 8.