Well after five days of sadness, I recovered to a neutral.
This morning however, I feel someone else’s pain. I cannot even pray for them directly because I do not know who it belongs to but it is intense. I would say nearly debilitating but I suppose that is relative. Some people can handle more than others.
Some days I would rather not know who it is. When I know who, I often know why. We tend to have the same problems in cycles. It is quite odd. I remember a girl who saw me three years in a row in August. One of the few times each year she was sober. I did not see her the previous two years but I do know that she was clean every time they popped her for testing. I did however see her twin sister. Hmmm, that seems strange. Last week, she asked someone to take her into rehab. I do not know if she made it.
A few weeks back someone came to me and asked about a feeling they were having. Then asked if that was something like what I feel. I believe it is but it is difficult to say. I could probably drown out this feeling but would it return to the person it is coming from? Would it be more than they could bear? This specific individual is dealing with issues they do not want to accept. It is hard to accept the truth when you want something so badly.
Time to stop writing and wake up the kids. Time to start their week…