Always A Mix

The days are always a mix.  I can’t imagine others are different.

Overall I can see the good that God is doing in my life.  Yet, I still feel like I am in a desert.  Another person close to me lost their job.  Then another.  Somewhere in there a text “I hope you are doing well” – which took me down a few notches.  One of my girls having problems in school all week – she just can’t pay attention.  A battle between two people.

Those are just the new things.  Thankfully they have not caused any anxiety.  I can ebb and flow with some of these things.  Well except the text.  It caused great pain.

This morning as I read Psalm 71 and then began to pray it, the words just flowed out.  How can the words come so easily?  Especially when I feel so dead inside.  The very thing I want to do to renew my soul will probably just crush it under a weight I do not want to bear.  Soul intimacy.

I wrote many words in my prayer.  Knowing God is the only one faithful, the only one to trust.  When all others fail, His loyal love endures.  Even when I am in a desert, He is there with me.  I feel alone and still I know.