The days are always a mix. I can’t imagine others are different.
Overall I can see the good that God is doing in my life. Yet, I still feel like I am in a desert. Another person close to me lost their job. Then another. Somewhere in there a text “I hope you are doing well” – which took me down a few notches. One of my girls having problems in school all week – she just can’t pay attention. A battle between two people.
Those are just the new things. Thankfully they have not caused any anxiety. I can ebb and flow with some of these things. Well except the text. It caused great pain.
This morning as I read Psalm 71 and then began to pray it, the words just flowed out. How can the words come so easily? Especially when I feel so dead inside. The very thing I want to do to renew my soul will probably just crush it under a weight I do not want to bear. Soul intimacy.
I wrote many words in my prayer. Knowing God is the only one faithful, the only one to trust. When all others fail, His loyal love endures. Even when I am in a desert, He is there with me. I feel alone and still I know.